Erik Raymond shares some thoughts on how to stay connected as a married couple: 

Is it important for married couples to spend intentional time together each day? Few would argue with the wisdom of the practice but many would balk at its practicality. For many today the practice is simply not happening. A recent NY Times article written by Bruce Feiler indicated that it is increasingly common for husbands and wives to rarely see each other. The article focused on preferences and practices for sleep. Many wives are early to bed and early to rise each day while their husbands like to stay up late and sleep in a bit later. While some women are up early exercising and prepping for the day their husbands are up late watching Netflix or something on ESPN.

In my experience the practice is common for many Christian couples as well. Different sleep and lifestyle preferences combined with a desire to defer to one another leads to a lifestyle where very little time is actually spent together. There is a danger of simply living together rather than really living together. This tension is particularly acute for Christians. Our marriages are to joyfully reflect the reality of the gospel. In order to do so there must be regular expression of love, forgiveness, patience, respect, grace, and kindness. You simply can’t do these things without spending time together.

In order to pursue the type of relational intimacy that requires the gospel of grace there must be some intentionality. We are all plagued by a demanding life, a unique set of trials, and indwelling sin. Furthermore, we have the same amount of time each week, the same commands, and the same Holy Spirit.

Some basics that I’ve seen pay dividends in my marriage and the lives of those Christian brothers and sisters around me include the following:

1) Sync-up Meetings. 

2) Pray together. 

3) Learn together. 

4) Be Ordinary together.

Read how he fills out each point here.